Just as the world population continues to rise year after year, loneliness is also on the rise. Loneliness is not determined by how many or few people there are around us. We can be in a crowd of 1000 people or in a small group of 5 and still feel lonely. Loneliness, according to many experts, is not necessarily about being alone. People can be alone and not feel lonely, or they can have contact with people and still experience feelings of isolation. Sometimes, loneliness can be attributed to low self-esteem. People who lack confidence in themselves often believe that they are unworthy of any attention, which can lead to isolation.
Survey
A 2018 Cigna survey of more than 20,000 U.S. adults ages 18 and older revealed some alarming findings:
Nearly half of Americans, (46 %) report sometimes or always feeling alone and 47% feel left out.
One in four Americans (27%) rarely or never feel as though there are people who understand them.
Two in five Americans (43%) feel that their relationships are not meaningful and (43%) feel they are isolated from others.
One in five people (20%) report they rarely or never feel close to people and 18% feel like they can not talk to people.
The overall rate of loneliness has increased by a staggering 13% since this survey was done in 2018.
Barna compared the rate of loneliness in the Church with the rate of loneliness in the general population and found little difference.
In the 1950s, sociologist David Riesman coined the term “the lonely crowd”, in part to describe collectives of people who live according to common traditions and conforming values, but who barely know or like each other. I fear the church is in danger of becoming just such a lonely crowd. – Mike Frost
God’s Plan
God’s plan for humanity to combat loneliness revolves around family. I know that the word “family” invokes more negative feelings than positive in some. The main reason being the brokenness that many have experienced in their own homes. But our heavenly Father is someone who loves us unconditionally, who promises to never leave or forsake us. He can be counted on and trusted to do what He says He will do. We get to be part of His family as sons and daughters. I know it sounds unbelievable that we can become sons and daughters of almighty God but it’s true. God has separated those who put their trust and hope in Him and welcomed them into His family.
...and I will be a father to you, and you shall be sons and daughters to me, says the Lord Almighty.” 2 Corinthians 6:18
Our new family has a multitude of brothers and sisters in Christ who are called to have the same love for one another as Jesus has for us. As you can see, it’s not a suggestion but a commandment from Jesus. This love is the glue that hold family together, whether it be our natural family of spiritual one. It takes a humble person to unconditionally love others while they are in the middle of their struggle. Let’s humble ourselves under the mighty hand of God and walk in genuine love.
A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.” John 13:34-35
Now concerning brotherly love you have no need for anyone to write to you, for you yourselves have been taught by God to love one another. 1 Thessalonians 4:9
Learning to love
Learning to “love one another” in God’s house is important in representing Him to a lonely world. People need a real experience of love, not just a phony “I love you brother” christian catch-all phrase with no further action. To discuss all the aspects of this kind of love is beyond the scope of this post but let me touch on just a few so that we conclude with some practical application. Loving others involves quiet and focused listening. Many Christians have a lot to say but most have not been able to master the art of listening. All people, especially the lonely need to be heard so let’s practice listening. Another is to let them know that you value them as a person. You can recognize their worth as a child of God and express how they have something valuable to offer all of us. When you value something you will go out of your way to care for it. How can we go out of our way to show the lonely we care? Thirdly, integrate them fully into the family of God. Introduce them to all your brothers and sisters, contact them on a regular basis, invite them to dinner or special events. Let your love be practical and genuine. God Himself is the one who brings the lonely to your family.
“God places the lonely in families.” Psalms 68:6
Remember, almost half the people you meet will be struggling with loneliness. If you happen to be one who struggles with loneliness there is nothing to be ashamed about. God loves you! I want to encourage you to reach out to someone in the family of God and share it with them. This may be difficult but I know it is on God’s heart to break the bondage of loneliness and bring everyone into a place of freedom. The truth sets people free. Let’s stand, speak and put feet on the truth so that we can see the lonely restored into His family.
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